He wasnt sure why he was there all he knew was his friends had asked him to meet them for lunch at the restaurant and they would be sitting on the patio. Looking at the faces of the people seating their eating their food in the bright midday sun all he saw was blurs everyone was like that except two tables.
One table was his friends all of them, at least 20, sat there laughing and carrying on about this and that most pure rubbish he really didn’t care, he just knew it was the same shit he deals with everyday he’s around them. The second table was what peaked the young mans interest. Sitting there was a beautiful redhead one that he had seen once before in his life several years before she smiled waved and went back to talking to the other girl her back turned towards the man all he saw was the back of her her short dark brown hair a blue t-shirt and noticed a worn out pair of jeans and well loved chuck taylors on her feet. Only one girl dressed that way and as much as he would like think she was real he knew she wasn’t, she was dead almost six years now a girl he loved and lost and one he had really never gotten over so he did the best thing he could do for himself and turned his back on her softly muttering under his breath that she wasn’t real and headed towards his friends.
“So not even a hello? I’m gone six years and I don’t get a hello, I am real you know your not imagining me like you usually are.”
He didnt know what to say, what could he say anymore all she was a memory and a sore spot in his heart. “That’s because your not real, your my imagination telling me I am a big pansy and its time to feel unhappy again its time to sulk and realize that I fucked up all those years ago.”
Well…yeah, but you did that even when I was around. No I love you? or Hey shamu I’ve missed you? No, all I get is a your not real. Thanks. I am here to help you. I love you you know that and I left without saying goodbye I left without letting you know how I felt, I left at a time where we both could of used each others advice. I wasn’t yours, I could of been if you had learn to step up and be a man instead of hate yourself because of your weight and your self image. I loved you. You were one of my best friends and all I’ve seen anymore is you blame and hate yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.We fought, you said things you thought I never forgave you for but I did.
But, I don’t belong here. I don’t want to live my life if your not in it. I am so scared of forgetting you, I am worried I wont remember what your voice sounds like or remember some of our good times.
You wont forget anything your stubborn you can hold onto it and thinking I am not in your life is a lie,I am in it. You live for both of us now. So stop bitching and listen to the girl that owns you, please for me?
